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Posts Tagged ‘personal growth’

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours Guest Blog – Day Dream Your Way to a Better Life (Personal Growth)

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – Day Dream Your Way to a Better Life (Personal Growth)

I have personally known Robert Pagliarini for many years, he’s a master of personal growth and am pleased to have him guest post on my personal growth blog.

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One of the most popular self-help books ever written on depression is Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. He identifies several cognitive distortions the depressed suffer from. One of them is Overgeneralization. This is the practice of “viewing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.” If you lose your job, suddenly you are worthless and you will never amount to anything. If you look at your 401(k) statement and you’ve lost 35% of your nest egg, suddenly you’ll never be able to retire and you’ll have to be a Walmart greeter when you’re 85 years old. When things are bad, it feels like everything is bad and they’ll always be bad.

One of the simplest, most enjoyable and most effective ways to improve your outlook and rise above the depressing headlines is to daydream — visualize a better life. In Robert Cooper’s book, Get Out of Your Own Way, he says “Brain scans show that simply imagining a complex and compelling goal will actually fire the same neurons that will be required to actually achieve the goal.” Daydreaming is definitely not just for kids. Spend a few minutes every day imagining your ideal life. You don’t have to write anything down if you don’t want to, just visualize it. Make it as real as you can.

If you want to get fancy, I recommend you DreamBoard. It’s something I’ve written about before, but I think it bears repeating. DreamBoarding is the process of creating a visual scrapbook of your ideal life. Why pictures? Our mind thinks and remembers in pictures. We remember faces but forget names. When we read a story, we create a visual image of the characters and the situation. The great communicators use language to create mental images. A picture can communicate much more quickly and efficiently than a word or a thought.

In addition to thinking about taking a trip to Fiji, isn’t it more powerful to also look at a picture of a Fijian beach with crystal clear water and palm trees? Does the picture improve your mood more than the thoughts alone? The added benefit of creating a collage of pictures is that they can remind you of your ideal life every time you glance at your DreamBoard.

Here’s how it works. As you imagine your perfect future, jot down what it looks like. Then cut out a picture or two from a magazine that represents this life. Take your time finding pictures that get your juices flowing. If one of your goals is to own a new Porsche, buy a car magazine or visit your local dealership and pick up a brochure.

Your ideal life shouldn’t just be filled with stuff, either. It should include things you want to accomplish and ideas about the person you want to be. While it is easier to find pictures representing tangible things you want to own, you can also locate pictures representing what you want to accomplish and who you want to be.

If you want to earn a Ph.D., cut out a picture of a diploma. If you want to learn how to play the piano, cut out a picture of a piano or of someone playing the piano. If you want to work fewer hours, take a picture of your office with a clock at 3:30PM with you noticeably absent. You can find a picture for almost anything. For example, one of the things I want to accomplish is to go on an African Safari. There are a lot of places I could have gone to get pictures of Africa, but I chose to cut out pictures from an adventure travel brochure because that was more accurate for my dream.

You can even find pictures representing the person you want to be. Do you want to become a better parent? Cut out a picture of your kids on vacation or doing their homework. Do you want to be a better communicator? Cut out a picture of Barack Obama or Ronald Reagan. Bottom line, no matter what your ideal life, you can find a picture to capture or express it.

Have fun with this exercise — get creative. While it might sound slightly silly-like making a collage in elementary school — using pictures will bring your ideal life to life.

Once you’ve cut out all of the pictures, it is time to create your DreamBoard. You have a couple of options. You can either create a portable goal collage by using a three-ring binder or you could create a large poster board with pictures representing all of your goals. There is nothing more powerful than looking at a collection of pictures that represent your ideal life.

Put your DreamBoard where you’ll see it often. Invest a few minutes of your other 8 hours every day to look at it. Think about what the pictures represent and visualize living it. Then get out there and make it happen!

For a limited time, you can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth and Purpose.

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – DayDream Your Way to a Better Life (Personal Growth)

I have personally known Robert Pagliarini for many years, he’s a master of personal growth and am pleased to have him guest post on my personal growth blog.

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Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours Guest Blog – Conquer Your Inner Shopaholic With These Six Money Tips (Personal Growth)

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – Conquer Your Inner Shopaholic With These Six Money Tips (Personal Growth)

I have personally known Robert Pagliarini for many years, he’s a master of personal growth and am pleased to have him guest post on my personal growth blog.

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Conquer Your Inner Shopaholic With These Six Money Tips – Robert Pagliarini from Robert Pagliarini on Vimeo.

Last year I wrote a free 75 page ebook about how to survive the financial crisis. The financial tips in the ebook are for anyone who is struggling to make ends meet and wants to radically improve their finances. It has some great money tips, but I’ve had to develop new strategies to work with this woman who is driving her finances into the ground because of overspending. Think financial makeover on steroids.

Here are six financial tips you can implement today that will help you conquer your inner shopaholic and give you more financial peace of mind:

1.    Don’t budget, PERK instead. Budgets work, but nobody likes them because they are hard to create and even harder to stick to.  Fortunately, there’s a quick and easy solution I developed called PERK that takes about 15 minutes and can save you $250 to $1,000+ a month. First, list all of your expenses — everything. Then, next to each expense write a P, E, R, or K. For those expenses you can “Postpone” put a P. For those expenses you can “Eliminate” put an E. For those expenses you can “Reduce” put an R. For those expenses you must “Keep” put a K. Don’t let the simplicity throw you. It’s easy but incredibly effective.

2.    Stop leaking money. We spend money on stuff that we don’t need or even realize.  Things like cable channels we don’t watch, subscriptions we don’t read, and organizations we don’t care about. Take a close look at where your money is going by using a free online program such as Mint.com to track expenses easily. Cancel all expenses you don’t use or don’t need.

3.    Create a buying buffer zone. The goal is to create a buying buffer zone of at least 30 days between the moment you want to buy something (usually in the heat of the moment at the store) and when you actually buy it. If you force yourself to wait 30 days you’ll find that most of the time you won’t want it anymore. If you still do, it means you really do want it. So instead of whipping out your credit card, whip out your camera. Take a photo of whatever you want to buy and post it on your “buyer board.” Write the date, the amount, and a short reason why you want it and how it will improve your life. After waiting the 30 days see if you still can’t live without it.

4.    Get real. Fill in the blank: “The three most important things in my life are _______, _______, and _______.”  Usually stuff doesn’t make the list. It’s important to get clear and conscious about what you value. Print this list, or even better, find photos that represent the three things you value (e.g., photo of kids) and put these photos in your wallet/purse. To make sure you look at them, put them in front of your credit cards. If you really want to get fancy, create a credit card condom. This is where you make a sleeve for each of your credit cards with a photo of what’s really important to you — this ensures you have to see your values before you spend money (especially on stuff that doesn’t match your values).

5.    Volunteer. Get the focus off yourself, what you want, and what new thing you just can’t live without, and on to others who are in real need. This is great therapy and it doesn’t cost you a dime.

6.    Boost your income. One of my irritations with traditional financial planning is the near-exclusive focus on cutting expenses. You need to live within your means, but let’s not forget about the other side of the equation — income! Use the other 8 hours to create — write a book, invent, start a side business, etc.

Changing your finances (and life!) starts by changing your mindset and behavior. Buy into the belief that you can improve your finances — just be careful what else you buy…

You can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth & Purpose.

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – Conquer Your Inner Shopaholic With These Six Money Tips (Personal Growth)

I have personally known Robert Pagliarini for many years, he’s a master of personal growth and am pleased to have him guest post on my personal growth blog.


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Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours Guest Blog – 5 Tips to Avoid a Bad Decison (Personal Growth)

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – 5 Tips to Avoid a Bad Decision (Personal Growth)

I have personally known Robert Pagliarini for many years, he’s a master of personal growth and am pleased to have him guest post on my personal growth blog.

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The holocaust never happened. The moon landing was staged. And Sex and the City 2 is a great movie. How do I know this? I did a Google search. No matter what your position, you can find support. The lesson? Be careful what you ask, or maybe more appropriately, be careful how you ask. In psychology, the term for this is confirmation bias and it can have damaging consequences for your finances and your life if you’re not careful.

Nobody likes to be wrong, so we’ll actively try to find support for our existing beliefs. We’ll scour the web to try to find anybody saying anything that remotely resembles our own beliefs. “Well, how can I be wrong when blogger ‘iheartcarrie’ clearly agrees with me?” we ask.

The problem with confirmation bias is that you selectively filter what information you choose to pay attention to and value. So not only will you actively look for evidence and seek experts that confirm your existing beliefs, but even more pernicious, you’ll hide from or discredit any information that contradicts your viewpoint. This can cause you to dump money into a failing business, time into a bad relationship, or even to stay in a stock too long.

For example, let’s say after watching the stock market go up and up and up over the past year, you decided to jump back in a month ago (woops). Now you’re fully invested and you’ve just seen the market drop 10%. If you’re suffering from confirmation bias, instead of rationally evaluating the long-term economic and financial outlook of the U.S. and global economy, you may selectively read just those blogs or columns that are bullish. If you come across an article that is bearish, you’ll dismiss it, or maybe not even read it.

Confirmation bias isn’t just a problem for investors. It’s a problem you need to be aware of when looking for a spouse, starting a business, interviewing for a new job, managing people, and any other situation where a supply of fresh information can help you make better decisions.

Confirmation bias is very difficult to recognize, but here are five tips you can use to help minimize this cognitive distortion:

  1. Remove your ego. At its root, confirmation bias is an ego disease. We hate to be wrong and we’re desperate for others to validate our position. Seek the truth over being right, because if you disregard the truth long enough, you’ll eventually be proven wrong anyway.
  2. Seek disagreement. Foster an environment where it is not only okay to disagree but encouraged. Asking friends, family, and employees “Am I right?” will likely get only those who agree with you to speak up. A better question is, “Why am I wrong?” At meetings, require everyone to play devil’s advocate. Early on it might be difficult to get this kind of feedback from others because they’re probably not used to thinking about why you’re wrong (well, at least verbalizing it), so turn it into a game and reward the best answers.
  3. Ask better questions. One of the most worthless questions to ask a friend or co-worker is “How do you think I did?” It’s worthless because you’ll never get any constructive feedback. A much better question is “What could I have done differently to make it better?” By changing the question ever so slightly, you’ll be shocked at the honest advice you’ll hear.
  4. Keep information channels open. Constantly seek alternative views and opinions in print, on TV, and in person. That might mean visiting websites, reading newspapers, and watching shows that you’ve previously avoided. Remember, seek the truth, not evidence that you’re right.
  5. Google better. Don’t search what you want to prove, because with over 3 billion web pages, you’re bound to find one that agrees with you. Instead, use open-ended searches that aren’t biased.

Keep these five tips in mind and you’ll avoid confirmation bias. Now if you could only avoid Sex and the City 2…

You can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth & Purpose.

Robert Pagliarini / The Other 8 Hours  Guest Blog – 5 Tips to Avoid a Bad Decision (Personal Growth)

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Affirmations with My Kids – Personal Growth

Using Affirmations for my Kids and loving every minute of it!  Personal Growth

I’m an early riser, typically I get up around 5:30ish without an alarm.  Around 6:00 I walk downstairs, then off to Church, then work.  A couple weeks ago, I heard my kids playing in their room, so I decided to make them breakfast.  For whatever reason, I wasn’t excited about the day (personal growth wise).

Whenever I feel this way, I go through a four-step process (Click Here to See), and on this day, I decided to do Step 2 with my kids.

So, I started to sing songs with my kids, and shout out affirmations:

I said, “Repeat after me!  I’m going to have a great day!”  They repeated it, only after they looked at me with a strange look.

I said, “Repeat after me!  I’m alive, excited, and filled with energy!”  They repeated it.  I said, “LOUDER!”  They did!

We did this and continued it for about 10-15 minutes.  Not only did it help me, and I can only imagine what it did for their little minds that can be molded like soft clay.  Their current ages are 3, 2, and 10 months….

So I stared to think to myself, what if I could do this in the mornings and the evenings?  I could sandwich their days with a positive affirmations for kids.  What type of advantage would this give them in their life?   What about their personal growth?

All of a sudden who they came in contact with during the day didn’t matter as much to me, because I know, at night I’ll be able to get them back on track.

Unfortunately, I can’t do this everyday, but I working this in and I’m already seeing a difference in their attitude.  My oldest is calmer and more giving.

I don’t know who is getting more out of these affirmation for kids;  me or them.  I love where my desire for personal growth is taking me.

Using Affirmations for my Kids and loving every minute of it!  Personal Growth

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Advancing the Ball, Slower than I Would Like – Personal Growth

Personal Growth – Day 59

I’ve never shared my goals and objectives in this way, in the past I kept my goals to myself.   Keeping it to yourself is a lot easier, however, when you do that, you miss the “pressure to perform” that I’m feeling.

I have today and tomorrow to hit this $30,000 goal and I’m short.  Classic personal growth. Although I despise writing that I’m short, it’s making me think outside the box in order to hit it.

I believe that everything is happening exactly the way it is suppose to.  I’m not allowing myself to complain, beat myself up, or get frustrated with my process.  As my Coach Dan Sullivan says, “Everything that opposes our goals is actually the raw material for achieving them.  All you need to do is identify them.”  That is what this process is allowing me to do.

So I ask you, what is stopping you from the personal growth, the, personal development, you are looking for?  Make that list.  Solve those obstacles, and you will be one step closer to hitting them, just like I am.

Personal Growth – Day 59

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Day 5-7, It’s all About Confidence – Personal Growth and Development

Day 5-7, It’s all About Confidence – Personal Growth and Development

So last week (Day 2), I wrote about how I’m allowing my clients to “Name their own Price’ for what we have…. Results were dismal at best (typical personal growth and development stuff!)! Very frustrating… I thought for sure we were going to have 50, 70, 80% of the people interested and take advantage of it. Hardly. We only had 14% of the people on the call take advantage of it… that is only 4% more than we normally get! Where was my message off for the other people?

This last weekend was all about protecting my confidence. I had to do it with my Father and my wife. My Father called me to “caution me about my finances.” I told him that 18 years of growing up around him being as frugal as he is, was “caution” enough. I got off the phone and had to talk-myself into being confident again! Next, my wife wanted to have a “realistic” conversation with me about housing. I said to her, I we are going to make $500,000 in 90 days, “realistic” shouldn’t be in ANY of our conversations. Fortunately, I have a rock star for a wife and immediately she bounced back into miracle mode!

It’s so much easier for me to be “cautious” and “realistic”? But I don’t feel alive when I play that game! I’m passing on that conversation. I’m choosing to be “unreasonable” with my goals and ambitions. For whatever reason, it’s more nerve racking, but it’s much more fun.

The more I think about it, the key to my personal growth and development is protecting my confidence. Dan Sullivan, my coach and mentor (founder of Strategic Coach) has said this to me for years, but now I’m finally getting it (I’m a self proclaimed slow learner). I find this interested because people think I’m so confident, and people assume I will always hit my goals, yet…. I’m just like you. I doubt.

At lunch, to give myself a shot in the arm, I read Gary Ryan Blair’s personal growth write up on “How to Create a Big Bang (download here).” It states that to accomplish a Big Goal and it states that “it requires a fearless, daring, and courageous spirit, nerves of steel, and a massive dose of self – confidence.” Wait…. Is that me? I find it interesting how I doubt myself.

All I know is that I’m in… the game is on! I’m going to take everyday and swing at the bat… and swing HARD!

I’m okay with whatever public embarrassment comes with it declaration, because it will contribute to my personal development…. Nothing great in my life, nothing amazing in my life, no miracles in my life, have ever happened with shunning from the extraordinary.

My message about credit is SO important that I will save the American economy… this is the message that needs to be heard – if I don’t speak boldly and loudly, I’ll be doing a disservice to the hundreds of millions of American’s that are overpaying on their bills and not even realizing it!

Also at lunch I made a list of the “Big Wins” that are possible this quarter…. There were 13 items on the list. Six of the thirteen “Big Wins” have come to me the last week… YES! WOW! I didn’t even realize this.

PUT on your seat belt…. I’m ready for liftoff, I’m ready for a massive transformation!

P.S. I’m committed to spending 100% of my weekends with my family… that is why I’ll only be writing about personal growth and development posts on the weekdays.

Day 5-7, It’s all About Confidence – Personal Growth and Development

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